Surgery day

My sweet baby was wide awake this morning, looking around, taking in everything, melting our hearts, when the anesthesiologist came in and checked her over, then some nurses, and some doctors, and finally her surgeon who told us to give her kisses and hugs because it was time.

To say that, that was the single most difficult thing I have ever experienced in life, is an understatement. Going into all of this, I knew it would be hard. I knew it would suck, but when you get to the point of having to let go of that tiny little hand and let them take her into the operating room....nothing can prepare you for that. Nothing. We were told that we would get many update through out the day, but that we needed to just rest and go do something. So David and I went back to the Ronald McDonald House and slept. We're both exhausted, more so David, so we needed the rest. We woke up to a call, telling us that they had opened her up an hour prior and that she was on bypass. She was of course doing really well. The rest of the day, we spent with Emma. My mother in law brought her down the night before, so it was nice to spend a whole day with her and take our minds off of what was happening. Emma and I took another nap later on and just snuggled.

We got the call that surgery was done, but it would be a long time before she was back in the room, because her surgeon sits with her just in case anything goes wrong. She had some extra bleeding, but they were on top of it and took care of it.

We hung out with Emma a little longer and then said our goodbyes. This is one of the worst parts of this whole thing. I am missing my Emma everyday. She is doing so well with her Nana and Papa and is so happy, but I am so sick over all the time away from her. I am so grateful for all the support we have for Emma. It's an incredible blessing.

When we got to the hospital, it wasn't long before we talked to nurses, who told us what to expect when we see her. They didn't want it to be a huge shock. They described everything we would see and what it all means. This was a huge help. I was so nervous, as we waited for them to call us back into her room to see her. The moment I walked into the room, I got ill. My head hurt, my body ached, and I felt like I was going to throw up. She has a lot of iv's, tubes, and wires. She is going to be sleeping for the next couple days because her chest is still open. They left her chest open because after a surgery like this, things swell, and it's just much safer for her to have room to swell a little. There is a latex looking tape that is covering her heart, but you can see her heart beating underneath. So since her chest is open, they don't want her to get worked up at all, so they're keeping her asleep. I am so anxious for the day that they let her wake up, but we have to be patient. This is a long process with a long road ahead of us.

Things to pray for:

It was made clear by one of the nurses that it's not a question as to IF she will have little hiccups in her road to recovery, but more so a question of WHEN and HOW MANY. We're praying for her to shock the medical team! We want her to be the baby that everyone remembers because she had no issues.

This is hard, really hard. I am having a difficult time coping with all of this. To be honest, I am not as strong as I want to be. David and I are always praying for strength.

We're thanking God for the fact that Amelia is doing so well up to this point.

Emma is doing well, so far, so we're praying that it continues this way. We're so grateful that Emma is young while all this is happening. Right now, I think she thinks, she is on vacation with Nana and Papa. Obviously they're more fun than mommy. (;

I debated writing this blog today or waiting until things weren't so emotional, but I figured it would be better to write it while the emotions are all still very new. It's therapeutic to me, to write it out, and it will be nice to read back on this when we're out of the storm.

Thank you everyone for your prayers. I am overwhelmed by all the support, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Between our awesome insurance, the Ronald McDonald House, the wonderful medical team, all the family/friend support, and everyone who is praying for us, we're so full with love. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Love, Kelly

Oh, and because, who doesn't love pictures of adorable babies....